Weeks 4-5

So I'm not going to lie, Week 3 was hard for Carter.  We had a lot of handwriting that week and that is the thing he dislikes most with school.  Unfortunately it's super important, so we had to push though but there were tantrums and tears.  He also had a rough week behavior wise but thankfully we had a bi weekly ABA therapist stopping by that week.  She has been working with him with the SuperFlex curriculum  and it talks about SuperFlex who is a super hero who helps you defeat bad behaviors called 'unthinkables'.  One of them that Carter really struggles with is Rock Brain.  Having moments when he only does what he wants to do and not letting anyone negotiate with him.  We find them helpful but there are so many 'unthinkables' it's hard to keep up with all of them and remember exactly what all the suggestions are to defeat that Rock Brain, etc.  Thankfully his therapist brought me copies of all those 'unthinkables' so since I had the laminator out today I figured I would laminate them and make a handy book so he could keep it with him.  He is loving it and I am loving that he loves it.

Week 4 and 5 were better.  Carter learned about North American Indian tribes and how they lived.  He wasn't that into it.  But we finished building our wigwams and tepees. Carter didn't really get a hang of how to get the paper turned into a cone shape so I mostly did that part, haha.

This week we are starting week 5 and so far so good.  We learned about Plymouth Rock and the pilgrims.  We talked about how brave they were to leave England in search for a place to have the freedom to worship God in the way they felt the bible portrayed.  In learning about their landing in America, he learned that they used oiled paper for windows.  So we did a neat little experiment to see what happens when you rub oil on paper.  We rubbed a generous amount of coconut oil on a piece of copy paper.

We learned that rubbing oil on the paper made the paper easier to see through.  We also gave it a water test and noticed that the non oiled paper was quick to rip apart.  The oiled paper stayed intact and the water rolled off the paper.  Those Pilgrims were super creative and resourceful.  

I also saw a neat idea to help Carter remember his memory verse, so I decided to type and print up all his verses for the year and laminate them.  I cut the words out very sporadically for him to piece together.  He liked the challenge but he really had this weeks verse memorized already.  As we introduce more verses, I plan to add the words from previous verses to really test his memorization.

I also wanted to review the books of the bible that he learned in 1st grade.  So I found a handy books of the bible printout. I love that not only does it have all the books of the bible but it also has the author, main characters, and key stories from each book. I printed them out and laminated them so that Cooper could enjoy them when he gets old enough. For now I am leaving the books of the bible attached to the book info.  But later as he gets better with memorization I plan on splitting the information so he can later recall what books contain certain key stories.  He listened to the books of the bible songs on his CD and practiced putting them in order.

Once he got them in order he stacked them into a pile.  Then he dropped them and made a mess.  I encouraged him to just put them up since he had already put them in order but he wanted to test himself and see what he could remember.

Hopefully our good week will continue.

   


           

Weeks 1-2 Adventures in U.S. history

Our first week went well.  He was eager to get started back in his routine, as was I.  Week 2 has been more of a struggle.  Some days are great and others a filled with some complaining but who loves school 100% anyway.  Week 1, We learned about the U.S.A. Map. First we colored the state where we live, then we colored the states where we have family living.  We also learned about the World Map and the 7 continents and the oceans.  We read about Leif Ericsson and his journey. We also learned about the importance of a name of what our names mean.  My Father's World suggested making a bracelet with letter beads that spell the child's name but I felt that was a bit too girly so we made a bookmark. It's coming in handy with all our books we are reading.

Here is Cooper when I told him it was his turn to do school work.  What a stinker! Hiding in the computer hutch.  I then convinced him to get dressed and he could 'learn' on the computer.

 Our first science experiment this school year was adding salt to a cup of water and seeing how the egg floats.  It was neat to see how the salt made the water more dense. Carter's anticipation on what would happen was so cute!

Week 2, We started learning about Christopher Columbus and his journey.  After reading about the beginning of his journey Carter had to summarize the story. I enjoy relearning all these things as he's learning it for his first time.

I then attempted to do a viking craft with him that I had got at Michael's a couple of weeks ago.  EPIC FAIL, but not on our part.  The foam boat holes were cut to small for the large cardboard pieces to go through.  So we took it back, I don't recommend this...

Today we made Columbus' 3 ships that he used to travel. The Nina, Pinta and Santa Maria.  We used aluminum foil, per My Father's World recommendations, but we used popsicle sticks instead of a pencil for our sails, which we decorated.  Well I decorated, haha.  Also, they recommended putting the boats in a bathtub or sink.  But because I wanted to focus on the fact that his ships didn't have a motor I really wanted to take them outside and see where the wind took them and how slow the boats must have moved on a day with no wind.  We have a little drainage spillway at the end of our cul da sac and thankfully it had rained the day before.  The boys were excited to try them out and so was I.

And off they went....

What a great day!!!! Minus the boys playing in dirty rain water.  Oh the joys of boys!

First Day of 2nd Grade

Today was Carter's first day of school.  He is doing My Father's World 2nd grade curriculum, Adventures in U.S. History.  Im fairly certain, and hoping, that this will be our best and most enjoyable year yet.  Carter loves maps, presidents, and history facts so this is right up his alley.  Cooper is just doing basic Pre-K worksheets here but starting in September he will go to a once a week Pre-K class.  In January we will start My Father's World Kindergarten.  Here are our morning pictures before we started our day.

In addition to normal subjects he started Rosetta Stone Spanish Homeschool Edition.  He is LOVING it and didn't want to stop.  He says next he wants to learn Chinese and French.  He also had a great time going through his books during book basket time.

Cooper had a pretty good day but it's a lot harder for this little guy to sit and be still.  But we got through it with only a bit of whining and maybe a cry or two, haha.  His favorite part was using our Melissa & Doug Reusable Animal sticker packs and Melissa & Doug Transportation Reusable sticker pack.  I made up a story about a little boy who went to the airport and got on a plane to grandma's house.  While on the plane, he looked down and saw..... etc.  He used his stickers and scene pages to create what I was telling him.  A fun way to get him listen closely to what I am saying.  All in all we had a pretty good first day!

The unspoken side of having a child with autism

People who don't deal with autism on a regular basis don't understand it the way we do.  They hear and read the articles about autistic children and how they are known for hand flapping, not being potty trained, and non verbal.  While this is very much the case for many children on the spectrum it's not always the case.  Starting this journey in autism I would take Carter to multiple therapies that included other autistic children.  Us parents would swap stories of diagnosis and issues of what our kids were struggling with.  More times than not the other child's autistic characteristics were worse than Carter's.   Carter is potty trained and he doesn't flap his hands.  He speaks very much and is rarely quiet.  I would often times feel like the other parents would look down on me because my kid wasn't as severe as theirs and Carter didn't need those services like their kids did.  He didn't struggle like their kids.  I wasn't there looking to compare, I was looking to fit in to find support.  Fit in to show our struggles and receive helpful tidbits.  Not to have my struggles made any less meaningful or challenging.  While Carter may be potty trained and speaking, he still has his struggles and it affects the whole family.  Carter has a temper like no other.  Many people don't believe it because when he is out in public he will talk to anyone and be so sweet and nice. But here at home, in our home, its different.  If he doesn't get his way he yells and screams and tries to hit me.  If he makes a bad decision he blames everyone else saying, "It's your fault!"  If Cooper makes a mistake Carter is the first one to shout out that Cooper is a failure or he did this or that.  He thinks its his job to be the parent. A mean parent. In his mind he isn't a child and he can do what he wants to do.  He deliberately disobeys.  Not always but more than not.  I'll ask Carter to do something and he won't listen and or only does it on his time and not right away.  I understand he has Autism but I refuse to let that be a excuse for bad behavior.  Bad behavior has a consequence.  That's how the real world works.  When he doesn't obey and he gets in trouble he then proceeds to slam his door and shout out to me that I'm a bad mom, he doesn't love me and he doesn't even like me.  He says I don't want to be good, I want to bad. I don't want to see you anymore.  You don't let me do anything fun, etc, etc......I understand that he doesn't always understand what he says but that can make it feel that much more hateful.  He doesn't understand what he's saying but yet he knows all the things to say to hurt people.  He doesn't understand that those words leave marks and once you hear those words over and over they never go away, not even with a "Sorry Momma".  I try and be strong and hold it all together but after so many I hate you's from your child how are you not affected by that.  It's really trying when I out my whole soul into something trying to help him and doing everything I know to do and it all goes unnoticed bu him.  Homeschooling, the fighting, the medical costs, it's really hard.  Its a sacrifice that Im taking because I want the best for him.  I just pray and pray that it will pay off and that God has his back.  I don't know what the future holds for him.  God already has Carter's destiny planned out.  I know things could be a lot worse and people have different struggles but Im just trying to say that us moms with the high functioning autistic kids don't have it so easy.  Our lives aren't gravy because our kids can talk.  Our lives are filled with arguments and hurtful words followed up with apologies when you don't even know if they are really sorry or not.  They do want they want to do and everyone else is just along for the ride.  Siblings watch their behavior and they are confused and hurt by the things that are said and done to them, not really understanding why.  Trying to find the balance between grace and discipline is hard because we don't know what all they fully understand while not letting bad behavior go unnoticed. Recently a therapist advised me that when he says mean and hurtful things to others to ask him to write down all the reasons why he loves that person.  It's good for the person whose feelings got hurt to hear and supposedly good for Carter to think of the good things.  So after a melt down a couple of days ago I thought I would throw that into play.   I asked him to write all the reasons that he loves me.  He said I didn't let him do anything fun and I didn't love him.  I told him that was not true and that if I didn't love him I wouldn't take him to play dates or worry about if he had food, clothes etc.  He went in his room with paper and pen and said he couldn't think of anything.  He then wrote the things that I said...I feed him, He has a bed, etc.  But halfway down, after he wrote all the things I had said, he was completely stumped.  He said he couldn't think of anything and started naming things that didn't even make sense.  I try and let my feelings not be hurt but its more sad knowing that he doesn't know what it means to write or say the reasons you love someone.  Just because our kids speak doesn't make our lives easier.  They still can't communicate how they feel effectively. When trying express a hard day the last thing a autistic parent wants to hear is another parent say that their neurotypical kids do the same thing, or say the same thing because its not the same.  Those kids aren't on the same level and comprehension that our kids are on and they just won't get it.  Im not asking for sympathy but I do ask for prayers.  This is the life God gave us and we have to try and make the best of it and do the best we can but it's so hard and trying to figure out how to be a parent and how to be a parent to an autistic child.

Weary and Burdened

As a young mother we tend to put our needs and wants on the back burner, including our health.  I for one, am guilty of this.  Now my brain and my body are saying, "I'm so tired and I just want rest!!" Physically and emotionally burnt out.  I've been stressed as far back as I can remember. Stressing to get my body pregnant, stressing over a law suit over our new home, then stressing about a screaming baby, working our way through the system for a diagnosis for Carter, dealing with the diagnosis and insurance, Cooper came along, Cody's new job and moving.  Whew, what a crazy last 8 years it's been.  I've had PCOS forever, although it wasn't till I was 20 to get a diagnosis.  I think that my PCOS is now waving a huge flag at my body and saying, "Hey you, yea you! Im still here and Im not going away.  All this stress you've been dealing with has made things ever worse and now you have more health issues." My brain tells me that something has to give.  I feel like I go from one stress to another.  When will I catch a break?? Then my heart kicks in and says how selfish of you.  There are so many sick children in this world and people fighting cancer and all kinds of terrible illnesses. But I keep thinking in my head how much I just wish that I could get a body "do over".  My body is riddled with problems and I feel like Ive been making all these great efforts to get well but my body isn't responding.  I had some blood work done last week and found out my body is producing no progesterone.  None, as in not traceable amounts, post menopausal range.  I feel sorry for myself and am riddled with confusion but I told Cody I have to remember that at least my body got it right twice.  I have two beautiful kids and that's more than some women ever get.  While I'm frustrated with my body I came across a pin on Pinterest that was a picture from a book by C. S. Lewis. It was a prayer of contentment and it said, "I would rather be what God chose to make me than the most glorious creature that I could think of; for to have been thought about, born in God's thought, and then made by God, is the dearest, grandest, and most precious thing in all thinking." Wow!! It's hard to understand why God has given me the struggle of PCOS and all my medical issues, but it's not always about me understanding that.  God created me this way for a reason, his reason.  I can think about how great life would be without this but this is who God wanted me to be.  I will fight for my health but I should be content knowing that I am wonderfully made.  It's so hard to focus on me when I have two energetic boys running around but I want to be around to see that so I have to get healthy and I have to make me a priority.  But first….I want rest. Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.  Matthew 11:28

To the ones circulating the story about inducing labor causing autism...

I have so many emotions floating around on this article I'm having a hard time knowing where to start.  As a mother of a child with Autism I have to say I'm getting pretty tired of seeing these articles.  Every week it seems like someone has a new theory on what's causing Autism.  The keyword in that sentence is theory. That's all they are in my opinion.  While I very much would like to believe that one day they will find the 'reason' or 'cause' for Autism, it kills me to read articles that suggest that it's the parent fault.  The father is older, the mother is overweight, the mother has diabetes, the parents were exposed to toxins, the child received vaccinations and now inducing labor.  There isn't a day that goes by that I don't catch myself wondering if something I did caused Carter to have Autism.  But the reality is, it doesn't matter.  God knew Carter before he was even in my womb, he knew that Carter would have Autism and I have to believe that's the way God wanted him to be.  I know that I would have never done anything intentionally to cause my son to have Autism and so I have to be at peace with that.  While some mothers are opting to induce labor for a day that's convenient for them, that isn't the case for all moms.  Carter was passed due with no signs of natural labor coming on, he was running out of room and the environment was no longer good for him.  Was I happy about it? No, but what was I to do.  Cooper was induced one week before my due date because Carter was almost 9 lbs and we didn't want Cooper to be to big, so we induced.  Cooper does not have Autism.  The problem with this so called theory is that it is flawed.  Why does Carter have Autism and Cooper does not?  They are both my children and they were both induced.  I understand that the medical community is trying to educate women on how to prevent their children from having Autism but the fact of the matter is nothing has come out saying yes the is 100% what causes Autism.  I think the most important thing to do is be healthy.  Educate yourself and go with your gut instinct on everything.  Do what you believe is best for your baby not you. I truly believe that your child has Autism or they don't.  It's not something you can cure but you can teach them how to manage their symptoms better.  In the early stage of diagnosis I would find myself asking, "Why?"  Why has this happened to our family, to Carter? What did we do wrong?  But now I can look back and see what a blessing he is and has been to us.  Doing our research on Autism and his leaky gut forced us to be educated about our food.  Where it comes from and how much of an impact that has on us and our bodies.  His diagnosis has forced me to lean on God more than I ever have in my life. In the midst of the hard times when I don't know what to do I call out to God asking him for strength.   I will praise him in this storm.  He has taught me to have more patience.  I still struggle with it but I am better and it's still a process.  While he can be a handful at times he can be such a ray of sunshine.  While the dangers of talking to strangers is stressed to him it doesn't stop him from talking to everyone he meets.  He is so social, he may ask inaporopriate questions at times like, "What's your address? How old are you?"  While it can bother me that he feels the need to talk to everyone, it bothers me more when he is so polite to other people and they ignore him and act like he is the weird one.  Had it not been for his Autism, I would have never been the one to homeschool my children.  But because of that diagnose I was more willing to accept that instruction from God.  Bottom line, I can see how being on the outside and how people think that having a child with Autism is a death sentence but that's not the case.  Every child on the spectrum is different, some higher functioning than others but each child is a blessing from God.  When these articles and so called theories come out and start getting posted all over social media, please stop and think about the parents of these children.  Don't assume that having a child with Autism is a curse and don't make us feel like our children our less worthy than your 'typical' children.  I hope no parent would knowingly do anything to cause their child to have a disability but please don't make us feel guilty for something that isn't even proven.  If your meant to have a child with special needs that's just your destiny.  You can try and have a child while the father is 'younger', you can have a child and not have diabetes or be overweight during pregnancy, you can try and avoid toxins at all cost, you can refuse to vaccinate your child, and you can refuse to induce labor but the honest to God truth is, If it's meant to be it's meant to be.  Embrace what you are given and accept it. Having a child with Autism has forced me have a more christ centered life and that in itself is a gift that keeps on giving.

Hello, again

I can't believe how long it's been since I've blogged.  A lot has happened in our lives the past several months.  Cody got a new job, we lived apart for one long month, we sold our house, bought a new house, lost our precious dog to cancer and are just now trying to adjust to this new life.  We didn't move as far as we had hoped but because of all the ups and downs of his previous job interviews, God had prepared my heart to be open to anywhere he wanted us to be.  We are only 3 hours away from our old home but it's definitely taking a while to get in a new swing of things.  I knew going into the move that there would be a little bit of a blue period for me during the adjustment.  Moving to a place that I don't know a soul, having no friends, losing MOPS from my life, the kids losing friends, losing all the perks of a big city, trying to find a new church is just to name a few.  In the beginning it was okay, I stayed so busy unpacking our things and doing things around the new home that kept my occupied and my mind busy.  Once all that was done reality started to come into check and force me to remember everything that I had left behind.  Yesterday Carter said, "I miss my kids in Dallas."  I said, "You're friends?" He said, "Yes!" I told him "Me too!"  It breaks my heart that even he is starting to get lonely from the move.  We have had the worst time trying to find a church home here so the opportunities to make friends has been hard.  Cody has been working a lot because the new hospital he is working for is opening a new hospital next week and it has been extremely demanding of his time to get everything ready.  The kids have taken it pretty hard with him coming home late and working parts of the weekends.  I'm hoping that all comes to an end in the next couple weeks and our lives can go back to semi normal.  I keep praying that God will show me his purpose for our lives now that we are relocated.  Sometimes it doesn't seem to make sense but i know only in time will his grand plan all be revealed.  I will try and update more often but its been so busy.  I love blogging as a way to get everything out, so I need to try and keep it up.  Hope everyone is doing well!