Roller Coaster

I sit down to write a new post and I have no idea where to start so in a way I'm speechless.  Life has been an emotional roller-coaster the last week.  Just after my post last week about God speaking to me about homeschooling and that something better was in store for us my husband received a phone call from Vanderbilt Hospital in Nashville,TN about a job.  We were really hopeful that things would turn out.  What a great opportunity for Cody to work with a well known hospital with plenty of learning opportunities.  After the first phone call we had mixed emotions.  We were happy to hear from someone but at the same time it was just a waiting game to see if they would call again.  The next day I tried to block it out and not even think about it.  Thanks to a trip to the zoo it was working.  While we were at the zoo Cody received a phone call from them again.  This one defiantly sounded more serious.  They asked him about how much research he had done about relocating there, had we looked at homes in the area, explaining the shift and what all it entailed and then asking if he would be willing to come for a personal interview.  The lady told him that she would get in contact with another lady who would finish the screenings and get back with him.  We were really excited thinking he would be going for a interview but of course came the waiting to hear back.  The next day nothing, the day after that nothing.  Cody logged into the hospital website to view his application status and it said no longer a candidate for the position.  Ummm enter heart sinking feeling NOW!  We were really bummed but I kept trying to be optimistic about the situation.  I told Cody that obviously it wasn't were God wanted us to be and that one day he will open the door to the right place. Cody told me that he had left a voicemail for the lady at the hospital to follow up with her and also thank her for her time calling and speaking with him.  Later that day the first lady that called him called him back and was asking him some more questions about how flexible he was on the income.  He explained to her that he was willing to listen to any offer they had but also told her that he had seen that he was no longer a candidate online.  She said that she had no idea about that and if that was the case why would she have been instructed to call him back and speak with him.  She said she would do some emailing and see what was going on.  She explained to him that there was several opportunities coming up as well.  After the phone call I think Cody was starting to feel a little more optimistic but me.... not so much.  At that point I was over it.  Either they don't want to tell him the truth or they don't have their stuff together.  Who knows maybe it't a technical thing that occurred.  It's a long shot but I guess I could give them the benefit of the doubt.  In my mind I'm moving on.  Cody is back to the application process again.  If they call then great but my thinking is if they are so concerned about how much money he is making then they obviously aren't willing to pay him close to that so to me that's a no go!  I told Cody maybe this job opportunity wasn't about a real job  but a phone call from God saying "Congrats, you listened to what I told you to do. This is to show you I am here and Im paying attention.  Something will happen but just be patient."  Honestly it gives me goose bumps either way.  He spoke, I listened and then he spoke again to confirm it.  Bravo God Bravo!  I asked Cody "How many times do you think we will have to go though this roller coaster of emotions until we find a job opportunity that sticks?"  Of course he didn't have an answer but obviously we hope that it's not too long.

Holding on

As we faced another disappointment from Cody's employer I began to become very anxious about how this decision would effect our family.  As some of you know Cody was pretty much asked to train to be an MRI tech at the hospital.  After years of hard work he earned his Bachelors degree. Our goal all along was for him to leave that horrid place.  After all, they deny Carter just about every medical therapy that he needs.  As soon as he graduated he started filling out numerous applications for jobs.  In the midst of that he was approached by another co worker to train to do MRI.  After much back and forth with the manager of the department about pay and schedule the manager told him that he was going to train but that they had to go through a bunch of 'technicalities' to officially be hired, but promised she would not go back on her word.   After months of back and forth and preparing in our minds all the bills we would be able to knock out and affording to send Carter to a university model school (that he was already accepted to) we were hit with unfortunate news.  The day we had been waiting for to finally receive the answer had come and I was on pins and needles.  Cody sent me a text message letting me know he was going into the office to get the official word.  As I waited I became very anxious about what this would do to our family if he didn't get the position.  So much was riding on this.  How would I support my husband if he faced yet another defeat with his employer?  As I waited and felt myself overcome with nervousness I sat down at my desk, closed my eyes and prayed out to god.  "Tell me what to do, Give me your guidance!" In the midst of my emotional storm, peace came over me.  Within my heart I heard him say "It will be ok, he won't get the job.  You will homeschool Carter and in doing so greater things are waiting for you.  Be patient and something will come up within the year."  In that moment I had such clarity and peace.  After that I knew in my heart that Cody didn't get the job and was just waiting on the text to confirm it.  Of course the text came saying that they decided to hire someone else who already had an MRI certification and that they were concerned about training him since he had managerial aspirations.  Wow! What kind of company holds someone back because they want to move up, that seems backwards, but totally predictable from them.  I looked at the numbers to see if we could still afford to send Carter to school and we could have but that would have been it, all of our money, no margin for error or a sickness.  I just knew despite the fact I would prefer him go to school, I couldn't shake what God had instructed me to do.  Doubt was starting to fill my mind.  "How can I homeschool?  Its too late to plan anything.  Where do I begin?  Im not equipped to do this.  How will this effect Carter and I's relationship?"  Not only was it bad that in my head I was having doubt, but then I started to receive it from the outside.  It made so much sense what people were saying, all the cons of homeschooling.  I got it I really did.  But I just know 100% that God spoke to me and that just isn't something I can turn away from.  I love Jamie Grace and her songs always hit home with me.  She has one song thats called 'Holding On' and it really hit me when I was having doubts about homeschooling.  Part of the song says, "I just keep holding on to what I believe. Oh I believe I you, Give me the strength to fight and a heart to believe when its hard to believe in you....  Oh and these are the times when doubts tryin' to creep in and I need a reason thats larger than life when hope seems hard to find. If only I could fight just a little longer I know its going to make me stronger."  Oh yea those are some strong words.  I don't understand why God has called me to do this with an already strained relationship with Carter.  Maybe homeschooling will fill our days with much needed structure in his schedule that he needs.  Maybe it will improve our relationship.  Maybe its because 2 months into going to school Cody would have gotten a job out of state that would have made it a difficult transition for Carter and a waste of money in tuition.  Who knows what the lord has planned.  What I am sure of is that he spoke to me so much that I just can't ignore it.  He knows what he's doing even though it's hard for me to believe.  I do however trust him so all I can do is dive in feet first and trust that everything is going to work out.

Holding On -- Jamie Grace

Social Media is making us Anti-Social

I know I'm not alone out there in my thoughts about this.  Whether we want to admit it or not our society of social media has made us into anti social human beings.  I remember being in high school and when we liked a boy we would let them know through phone calls, and notes and good old fashioned instant messaging, lol, oh yes I went there.  When we were bored we would invite our friends to come over and spend the night and go out and do something fun.  Its only been 10 years since high school for me, so not that long ago.  Now it seems like everything is done through text messages and Facebook.  Guys are no longer brave enough to just call a girl he likes, he wants to do it via text or Facebook.  I think its really sad that teenage girls today won't know what it was like back when I was in high school and having those butterfly feelings of having that older high school boy calling you on your private landline phone.  Even as an adult I think we are lacking and have fallen into the traps of social media, allowing us to forget how to normally socially interact with one another.  Oh you want to go out to dinner tonight, send me a text asking me..... Oh you are feeling down in the dumps lets talk about it.... though text.  Seriously!!! We love the social media such as Facebook because it lets us all know whats going on your lives and who's having a baby, who's getting married or divorced.  But honestly, if we have to find these things out through Facebook are we really their friends? When something really important happened to me I would pick up the phone and CALL my friends so that we could gab for hours.  It was and is so much more intimate.  Don't think for one minute Im only pointing the finger at others because I'm guilty as well.  I have people on my Facebook from high school that I haven't seen since high school.  While its nice to 'spy' and see what they are doing with their lives, I don't need to know everything about them if we haven't spoken in 10 years.  There's probably a good reason we didn't stay in touch.  If we wanted to connect we should or could have exchanged numbers and got together.  I don't want people who I rarely knew in high school knowing intimate details about my life. They shouldn't have the access.  Facebook isn't all bad.  Its a great way to share pictures of the kids with family and close friends.  I have such a desire to get off of Facebook and just stick to blogging.  People who want to read my blog can, but I know the majority of my Facebook peeps won't follow me and thats fine.  That weeds out the people who really care with the ones who just have me on their Facebook for the number of friends.  Im not quite there yet but one day,  IT'S HAPPENING!!  I feel like once we make the leap of moving, whenever that maybe (thanks medical bills and student loans), My family and I are going to do things a lot differently.  Washing our hands, getting a clean start.  Going back to the basics and enjoying life (in person) with the people who really matter to us.  Breaking free of technology addiction.  Facebook is like a drug for me.  I know its mostly not beneficial for me but it is a great way to stay in touch with the ones I'm really friends with.  All am saying is....If you didn't have Facebook to keep in touch, how many friends would you really have and how many of those people would consider you their friend?  Think about how you treat your friends and how nice it would be to go back to having that intimacy.  We all need to force ourselves to get better at knowing people, really knowing them.  Where did you grow up? How did you and your husband meet? Whats your favorite color?  May seem petty, but its those little things that help us connect with other people.  I think our society is desperately in need of social interaction minus the technology part.

Are we forgetting to teach our children forgiveness?

My husband and I have been taking the Love & Respect class at our church on Wednesday nights for a couple month now. It has been really good. A couple of weeks ago we watched a video and Dr. Eggerichs was saying that when you've upset your wife how important it is that you apologize by saying that you're sorry and also asking for her forgiveness. Now I know that this is a marriage class and totally took to heart what he was saying but it hit me another way as well. He went on to say that when asking for you're wives forgiveness how much it would take her back. I thought about it and he's right. Wouldn't it take all of us back a little bit? Its easy to say sorry but to muster up and ask some one for forgiveness. Thats HUGE and rare. By definition the word forgiveness means this...Forgiveness is typically defined as the process of concluding resentment, indignation or anger as a result of a perceived offense, difference or mistake, or ceasing to demand punishment or restitution. Asking for forgiveness is admitting that you were wrong about something and making a personal commitment of sorts that you will not hold on to their wrong doing. How awesome is forgiveness?? AMAZING, yet so hard to do. When we are wronged it's hard to forgive because usually we won't forget. What really hit me was, "Oh my, am I teaching Carter how to forgive?" It's very easy for me to give the busy mom line of, "tell your brother you're sorry" but I'm forgetting to teach about the forgiveness that comes after the apology. The more I thought about it I started to realize that I'm probably not the only one forgetting this. It may seem so little, but in reality it's huge. As a mother of boys I want my boys to grow up learning the importance of how to treat a lady. While this is key, they need to learn to forgive everyone that may apologize to them. Teaching them from very little is the best way to get them in the habit of it. Just because I may have trouble as an adult forgiving sometimes, I know its not something I'm proud of, I am human and imperfect. I definalty want my children to learn from my mistakes. My biggest struggle that I face is how to teach Carter forgiveness. It's not as though he's a typical child who understands everything. It's all about wording things in a way that he can understand. Although I've become better about this I'm still no expert. Getting him out of the logical thinking and into emotional understanding is going to be a challenge. I'm up for the challenge. While it may take a while for him to grasp it I can at least try every time an apology is made for him to try and understand. Hopefully one day he will get it. So am I alone on this or does anyone else forget to teach our children the importance of forgiveness???

You are my sunshine.....

It's a song I've sang to both my children since they were babies. Not only is it calming but the words are wonderful. Cooper is no doubt my little ray of sunshine in this crazy world. He makes me happy when skies are grey. A couple of months ago Cooper woke up and had pooped sometime in the night which is really unusal but anyway by the time he woke up and we changed his diaper his butt was raw. The poor baby. I put some cream on while he screamed bloody murder. It happened again during the day, pooping I mean, and again it burned him again. What could have caused this...Think..Think? Oh yea he had a antibiotic, which I hate, a couple weeks ago. He had a double ear infection and there was nothing I could do, naturally, for him. Anyway, antibiotics kill not only the good bacteria in your stomach but also kill the good. The normal gut flora keeps the dangerous disease producing bacteria from flourishing in the bowel. When you lose the good bacteria you are at risk of the bad bacteria taking over. Our "friendly" bacteria in the bowel are then being crowded out by more vicious disease-causing bacteria. This bad bacteria then causes a yeast overgrowth. The bad yeast thrives on sugars of any kind. Sugar such as bread, diary, cheese, all fruit and starchy veggie. Foods that are really hard to avoid when you're 2 yrs old. It put me in a pure panic mode because Carter had the same bad diaper rash when he was little. At the time I didn't know what it was other than a bad diaper rash. Now that I am more educated I freak out. As Cody says, I put my autism goggles on and thats all I can see. But my thinking is, how can I not? The word "Autism" flashes through my mind over and over dozens of times all day every day. It affects our every day so how can it not be on my mind? Other than a little bit of sensory issues I haven't seen red flags surrounding Cooper to make me think he is autistic, but after doing the research on yeast overgrowth I'm convinced its an issue in our home. For Carter, Cooper and myself. So what are you to do? Well I've found a nutritionist that specializes in special needs kids. Im hoping to meet with her soon about how to feed the kids. The only way you can kill the yeast is to starve it. Starve it meaning no sugars, etc. It's going to be very hard I'm sure once we start the diet, but even if we have to eat the littlest variety of foods to kill that horrible yeast then we will for sure do it. These are my children why wouldn't I do this. Yes it's a huge inconvenience but if this is what they need then we will do it! This post was really half personal to get my feelings jotted down but the other was just to raise some awareness of the dangers of antibiotics and yeast overgrowth. Things that I can suggest you do while I save money to meet the nutritionist is to educate yourself. The next thing I would suggest is to give your children probiotics. You can either give them a coconut yogurt or buy probiotic in a pill form. Both my children are taking Theralac. You can buy it at The Vitamin Shoppe. You do not have to get this specific kind. We simply use it because that 's what was suggested by Carter's Defeat Autism Now doctor. It has the one of the strongest strengths. It is in a capsule form so we have to mix it up in the kids coconut cultured milk. This drink is also good because it contains pre and probiotics. I am by no means suggesting everyone go on a anti yeast diet but simply suggesting that you educate your self about the signs and symptoms in you and your family after taking antibiotics.

The deal on dairy Milk....

So for those of you that heard me speak at MOPS you heard a little bit about the information I found on milk. If not, Ill give you all a recap. When I weaned both my children I knew that I wanted them to have nothing but the best so that would mean organic milk with the cute little cow on the carton, right? Nah. After Carter's official diagnosis we put him on a Gluten Free Casein Free diet. So he does not drink dairy milk. Cooper on the other hand loves dairy milk and he is showing no autistic tendiencies. After doing some research for a nutrition for kids meeting I realized that the organic milk I thought was so great turned out not to be. We used Horizon organic milk with dha. After reading all the dangers I changed quickly. What dangers are there? Well, lets start with the most common known danger, antibiotics and synthetic growth hormones. Do you even know why cow's are given antibiotics? Its because modern dairy cows produce up to four times as much milk as a traditional cow did a century ago. This makes the cows more prone to mastitis. The antibiotics are mixed in with the feed (corn grain feed I'm sure, which is not what god intended cows to eat) to make sure the cow's udders don't become infected. Poor cows! Synthetic growth hormones are given to increase a cow's milk production. Everything that is given to the cow will come out in her milk. One of my most recent discoveries was that basically the USA has the wrong type of milk cows. All cows aren't equal you say? That's right. Today most modern milk cows are Holsteins. You know the cute black and white ones. Well turns out that those cows produce something called A1 Beta Casein. This protein is different than the ancestral one more common to the traditional herds of cattle, sheep, goats and even humans, known as A2 Beta Casein. There has been all kinds of scientific research on the A1 Beta Casein. Our bodies have a hard time digesting that milk and there are an astounding amount of physical and mental disorders it can cause. There's a book out there called Devil in the Milk. Dr. Woodford’s book presents research showing a direct correlation between a population’s exposure to A1 cow’s milk and incidence of autoimmune disease, heart disease, type 1 diabetes, autism, and schizophrenia. The cows we all should be getting our milk from are the Jerseys, Guernseys, African or Asian. They produce the A2 beta casein. Most modern milk is also homogenized and pasteurized. Before I didn't think much of it other than, Oh ok it just means they are taking great strides to make sure my family doesn't get sick. Wrong again. Homogenization is a process where all the fat molecules are mechanically forced to be the same size. When milk isn't homogenized the cream will lay on top, just like all the breast milk pumping mommas know. When the original fat globule membrane is lost and a new one is formed, it creates a much greater portion of casein and whey proteins, which in turn can lead to milk related allergies. Pasteurization destroys nutrients, enzymes that help with calcium absorption, and beneficial bacteria present in the milk. After milk is pasteurized they will then add back in the vitamins like vitamin D in a synthetic and indigestible form. The best form of milk is raw (non-pasteurized), non-homogenized milk from GRASS-FED cows producing the A2 Beta Casein. Since we all aren't so lucky to have a farm with cows on it (Oh I dream of farming) where do we get such milk? Well the internet is a great source. There is a farm in Cleburne, TX called Campbell's Classic Dairy that you can purchase raw milk from. There is also a farm in a place called Yantis, TX called Texas Daily Harvest. On a recent trip to Whole Foods I found this wonderful product. They have Grade A Jersey Certified Organic Whole Milk. They are humanely treated, grass based, a real local family farm, non homogenized, low temp pasteurized, and of course organic. LOVE!!

I got a half gallon to try on Cooper and he loved it! So we've decided it's best for our family. The milk should be kept between 36-38* and will only last about a week after opening. Which isn't a problem around here. A half gallon costs $3.49 and a gallon costs $5.99. That is obviously a big change for a lot of you who might buy the gallon jug straight from walmart (bad, bad shoppers). But this is worth every penny in our opinion. I seriously encourage all of you to take advantage of this wonderful, healthy product for your family. If you don't want to make a drive to the Arlington Whole Foods I will get it for you and you can pick it up from me. If we buy a case which is 6 milks we get a 10% discount. Not bad at all!!! Well I hope that you have all learned a little bit about the commercial milk industry and here is one little fact to leave you all with. A 12-year Harvard study of 80,000 nurses showed that a high intake of commercial milk appeared to actually increase the risk of bone fractures.