I don't quit, I persevere

Next week in homeschool Carter will be learning about the turtle.  The turtle stands for..I don't quit, I persevere.  Quite fitting for my struggles with juicing this week.  In my handbook for homeschooling it has the verse Galatians 6:9.  Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.  As I type this blog, the boys are eating lunch. Spaghetti for one and a turkey sandwich on gluten free bread.  Torture I tell you, that's what it feels like for me every time I go to make them a meal.  That's 6 meals a day plus snacks, it's taking everything I have in me to not just sink my teeth into anything.  So how has my journey been going?  Well Thursday was supposed to be day 1.  We juiced for breakfast, lunch and then we got caught in Frisco at dinner time/rush hour traffic. The kids were hungry and we had been shopping to get Cooper's big boy bedroom.  So of course we decided to cave in and go to Posados, umm Posados.  I told myself that it was silly to start a juice fast right before the weekend anyway.  Weekends are always hard for me because of Cody's 16 hr shifts at the hospital and Im here every weekend all day long with the boys.  Some weekends it takes all I have to not pull my hair out, why would I add the anger of hunger to the list.  After our delicious meal, it started to come up, the lump in my throat, GUILT!  Ugh, It was so good but I felt so bad.  If I say Im going to do something, I do it.  It's who I am, except with food, its always been my weakness.  Satan knows that and he hits me hard with it. It's an emotional crutch. Friday I juiced, breakfast, lunch, snack and then dinner came time.  The hunger was setting in...hard.  We had 4 ripe avocados on the counter, I didn't want them to go to waste, yea another excuse.  I was getting a headache, the kids were acting up and I just thought, forget it I'm not wasting that food.  So Cody and I sat down and made homemade organic guacamole.  It was so good, it always is.  Since we had already ruined our day why not add some halloween candy to top it off.  LOL, yup we did.  What happened afterwards?  That's right that feeling in my throat, GUILT.  Friday night Cody and I got right in the kitchen and juiced and juiced 192 oz of juice for Saturday.  I am happy and miserable at the same time to report I have not eaten since Friday night.  That's right, about 39 hrs and going with not one meal, not one chew.  A 16 oz cup of juice lasts about 2 hrs before the hunger creeps up again.  I try to hold off and sometimes I just have to close my eyes and say, "God, Please take this hunger away!  Give me the strength to see this through.  Help me to make my body healthy and take this opportunity to teach me how to rely on you more."  While I might stay hungry, it does seem to ease off a bit after prayer, which is such a comfort.  The thought of doing this for 8 more days is really hard to think about so I'm trying not to think about it that much.  Taking it day by day is all I can do.  Saturday I finally just told myself that the longer I put off going a full day was another day I had to start over.  So that was my motivation.  As far as results, even though we had 2 days of dinner mishaps, I have noticed my skin is much clearer.  Weight loss, this morning I weighed and nothing, but I weighed again later it looked like I lost 2 lbs, so not sure how accurate that is.  It's a little early still but I will keep you updated.  Spiritually, the results have been grace and to persevere.  We are so blessed to have Gods grace when we fail but it's important to remember that just because we fail doesn't mean we can't start over or try again. Working through the hard times will have a reward.  Well I am off to Sprouts to stock up on organic kale, cucumbers and apples.